Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Welcome back... Cruella!

So today was a tough day for me at work. In my fun retail job, I work as part of the hourly management team (Hourly management is a way of under paying and over working people...). Anyway, I took a few days off to feel a bit more revitalized and get through the next few week. I came back and was slightly disappointed to see that things had not changed.

So one of the women that I work with just about everyday, I worked with today. I am her superior, and my job is a little high stress especially when it's busy. This woman, seems to just have it together, she's positive, school, work, kid, and she's super young. I thought we had developed a bond, and that we worked well together.

So I sent her on a break. And I could feel that she was annoyed, but I wasn't sure why. So when she came back from her break, I asked her point blank, face to face if she was upset about something. She said no. I asked if she was sure because it seemed like something was bothering her. She said no. So I moved on with the day. So just before my break, I just notice that she is giving me such major attitude. So I turned to one of my peers and just told her that I couldn't deal with her snapping at me much more.

Well, let me tell you things went to hell from there. I am sitting in the back room and the woman who was upset, comes in the back and starts crying and yelling about me nit-picking and the other supervisor blowing things out of proportion. So she starts venting, and I was just like whoa whoa whoaaa, I didn't mean to nit-pick. The conversation didn't go anywhere because she wasn't willing to really talk about it.

Let me just say, I think that this girl while she may have it together, is immature and overly dramatic. She should have just come to me, I thought we definitely had a friendship. I was obviously wrong.

Now this is not the first time that something similar to this has happened to me at work before. I get that I have a very direct way of communicating. And that I can be seen as 'controlling' when I am working. Some of it is that I just want things to run smoothly and when I see someone making a mistake I want to help them. I am also beginning to understand that while I think that I am being helpful, some people think that I am being controlling and nit-picking.

I fear that this little incident has definitely marred my friendship with this girl. And that we will not be close any longer. Now as for my responsibility in this, I realize that perception is reality. If she perceived me to be doing it, she couldn't perceive my intentions. I feel like no matter how great you try to be it will always rub someone the wrong way. It will always hurt someone's feelings or be taken the wrong way.

Why are we so complicated? And though I know this little incident shouldn't bother me, it does. It makes me wonder how I am portraying myself, how others see me, and if this is in fact the reason why I am single. Though I try to keep myself on the positive train, I feel like today I fell off.. I feel a little lost and kinda sad.

Anyone out there know what I am talking about? Advice?

1 comment:

  1. @Shy Dude
    When I was your age I wouldn't have been able to offer any advice. For years I struggled with acceptance. I used to stress endlessly about what people thought of me. Thing is when I am at work I am 80% work and 20% play. I have always been proud of my abilities. I know what I am capable of. Being the manager ultimately makes you the watcher. Lonely position to be in if you are struggling to balance being friends with staff and running an efficient business.
    I used to do anything for acceptance. Luckily I learned to love and accept me. All of me. Maybe I am wrong but I do not feel the inclination to be friends with every one I work with. Besides it is difficult giving orders to friends. They do not always give you the respect you deserve.

    I am not sure if this helps. Every ones reality is different.